I'm sorry. If I were there, I would give you a platonic hug.

I'd offer you advice, but I don't really know what I'm talking about. But I have to say, the times I've had the best luck with relationships generally (friendly and otherwise) are when I've stopped trying to make them happen. Also, I don't know what you're like in real life (and only just found out what you even look like, by looking through the pictures on your facebook -- how did I know you had longish brown hair?), but your lack of luck kind of baffles me. I mean, you have a lot of the qualities that I at least find appealing. (Okay, I'm not exactly a perfect representative of the sex, but I was born a woman and by God I'll die one.) I mean, for one thing (as I just discovered) you're not a bad looking guy; you're intelligent and interested in the world of ideas, which is definitely a point in your favor; you're a fantastic writer; and you're capable of being emotionally honest with yourself and with others (witness the above post, as evidence A). So... I don't really know what your problem is. I mean, I don't know how it happens.

Sorry I can't be of any actual help, but I think you're pretty cool. Maybe try talking to more random strangers; sometimes you get lucky. (I met my boyfriend that way.)

Throughout high school and college, I've had miserable luck trying to find anyone who'd give me a chance. You've been a great friend, consoling me during those trying times. I needn't remind you or myself of the time when I was led on and used. I lost quite a few friends due to my crying spells then, but you stood by me. It was only until after college did I finally meet someone; we are to be married sometime next year. I met my fiance through okcupid, I know I know everyone rags on internet dating, but it does work.

Too much emphasis is placed on college being the be-all-end-all for friendships and relationships. I didn't finally be myself, make really any friends, and find love till afterwards. I've heard many people tell me, 'maybe you will meet the one when your fifty+', which annoyed me, so I don't want to come off sounding like that.

Perhaps not focusing on trying to get a relationship might help; people can sense desperation which I must've exuded back then. As a girl, I must say that a guy with female friends is a positive; it shows that he can relate and talk with girls instead of viewing them as the next conquest. There are any girls out there who would love to find a guy like that; it might come as a surprise, but after talking a lot with my girl friends I realize that many girls feel lonely too. It's a universal thing, though its a very solitary feeling. Anyway, you're a great guy and I would've gone out with you if I lived closer by.

 ---elise